Financial wellbeing isn’t only about having more money—it’s about feeling capable, calm, and aligned when you make financial choices. That alignment piece is where philosophy unexpectedly becomes practical. In How to Be Authentic, philosopher Skye C. Cleary explores what it means to live as yourself, drawing on existentialism to show how identity is shaped through choices. Read through a money lens, her message becomes a powerful framework for escaping “should” spending, comparison-driven lifestyles, and avoidance—and for building a financial life that actually fits.
Cleary’s core idea: authenticity is something you do
Cleary argues that authenticity isn’t a fixed personality trait you either have or don’t have. It’s a practice: noticing the forces shaping you (family expectations, culture, fear, status games), and then choosing—again and again—what you will stand for. Existential thinkers like Sartre and Beauvoir emphasized that we are “condemned to be free”: we may not control every circumstance, but we’re responsible for the meaning we make and the actions we take.
Money is one of the loudest arenas for this tug-of-war between freedom and pressure. What we buy, save, insure, invest in, or avoid says something about who we think we are—or who we’re trying to be seen as. That’s why “being you” and financial wellbeing are more connected than they look: both depend on clear values, honest self-knowledge, and the courage to act accordingly.
What inauthentic money habits look like (and why they feel draining)
- “Should” spending: Buying the life you think you’re supposed to want (the right home, the right car, the right holidays), even when it doesn’t match your actual priorities.
- Status and comparison spending: Letting other people’s visible consumption set your baseline—then feeling behind no matter what you earn.
- Avoidance: Not checking balances, ignoring bills, postponing pension decisions, or hoping anxiety will disappear if you don’t look.
- Self-sabotage stories: “I’m just bad with money” becomes an identity—so you stop building skills that would prove the story wrong.
- Perfectionism disguised as prudence: Waiting for the perfect plan, the perfect income, or the perfect knowledge—then doing nothing.
Each habit has its own logic, but the shared cost is the same: you lose agency. Cleary’s version of authenticity doesn’t demand that you feel confident all the time—it asks that you recognize when you’re outsourcing your choices to fear, habit, or other people’s expectations, and then reclaim a small, real decision you can stand behind.
Authenticity as a financial wellbeing strategy
1) Clarify values before you optimise
Most money advice starts with optimisation: cut this, invest that, earn more. Cleary starts earlier—with the question of what you’re choosing for. Financial wellbeing improves when your spending and saving reflect your real values (security, freedom, creativity, generosity, family, adventure), not a default template. A values-based budget isn’t “restrictive”; it’s a plan that funds what matters and makes trade-offs explicit.
- If you value freedom, you might prioritise an emergency fund and lower fixed costs over a larger house.
- If you value community, you might spend intentionally on hosting, travel to see loved ones, or local causes—and cut back elsewhere without guilt.
- If you value craft and mastery, you might invest in training or tools while keeping lifestyle inflation in check.
2) Treat “freedom” as a skill: choose the next right action
Existential freedom can sound abstract until you apply it to a bank app. The moment you look at your numbers—income, outgoings, debts, savings—you regain options. Financial anxiety often thrives in vagueness; agency thrives in specifics. If you’ve been avoiding money, start with one concrete action you can complete in 15 minutes: check your balance, list your direct debits, set a small automated transfer, or open your pension statement. Authenticity, in Cleary’s sense, is built through these unglamorous choices.
3) Notice the script you’re living—and renegotiate it
A lot of financial stress comes from silently following a script: “By this age I should own X,” “My kids should have Y,” “If I don’t upgrade, I’m falling behind.” Cleary highlights how authenticity requires awareness of social pressures without being ruled by them. In money terms, that might mean asking: Whose approval am I buying? What am I afraid it would say about me if I didn’t spend this? What would I do with the difference if I chose a simpler option?
4) Update your money identity—without pretending
Cleary is careful about the difference between authenticity and performance. Applied to money, that means you don’t need a “new you” montage—you need a truer story. If you’ve labelled yourself “bad with money,” swap identity statements for process statements: “I’m learning to manage money,” “I can make one good decision today,” “I can ask for help.” Financial wellbeing is less about willpower and more about building systems that support the person you want to be.
Try this: 5 authenticity exercises for your finances
- The “enough” statement: Finish this sentence: “I would feel financially well if…” Keep it emotional and practical (e.g., “I could handle a surprise €500 expense without panic”).
- Values audit (10 minutes): Look at last month’s spending and highlight three items that genuinely matched your values—and three that didn’t. Decide one change to repeat and one to reduce.
- The script spotter: Identify one money “should” you’ve inherited (family, culture, peers). Write an alternative rule that fits you (e.g., “I don’t need to prove success with purchases”).
- Freedom in a small choice: Pick one action you’ve avoided (opening a bill, setting a savings transfer, checking interest rates). Do it today, imperfectly.
- Design a default: Create one automatic behaviour that supports your future self: an auto-save on payday, a weekly money check-in, or a bill-paying account.
Bottom line: financial wellbeing is lived, not wished for
Skye Cleary’s work is a reminder that “being you” isn’t found by introspection alone—it’s created through choices that express what you care about. Financial wellbeing works the same way. You don’t have to become fearless or perfectly disciplined; you do have to choose with your eyes open. When your money decisions are aligned with your values, honest about your constraints, and free from borrowed scripts, you don’t just improve your finances—you build a life that feels like it belongs to you.
This is not an advertisement. No commissions have been received in relation to this blog post. (But we do recommend the book as a very good read!)
You might be interested to read some of our other blog posts here.
